He’s too enthusiastic, that’s why. Too eager. Force the wife and try to convert the whole company. Take it easy. Yes, I know many people do that. And the more you try to force your wife, the more she is against you. That’s human nature. Can only be persuaded with love and patience. Never mind, you reason with your wife. Just say, “OK, I still love you.” Try to love her more and then she will follow you. Most of the people will follow love, you know that? […]
Yes? Bless you. (Thank You, Master. I got initiation in May 1993, so it’s been seven years now. But there is still no specific progress. What I want to ask is, my wife is quite against me now. So I took her to the Master’s lecture on the condition that I will not go to the retreat in Yeongdong. However, at that time, I decided to make my wife get initiation, so I filled out an application for initiation there. But Master could not give the initiation as there were too many people, so I couldn’t make her get initiation again. Since then, she is still opposed to me, and I think it’s because my wife and I have different lifestyles, so even meditating in the early morning now is being monitored by her. I’m not sure what to do about that. And I have problems at work...) (Let’s do one by one.)
(My wife is very against me practicing meditation. So, I brought her to the lecture hall before with the condition that I don’t join the retreat. So, I tried to get her initiated, but since there were too many people, so she was rejected. Then after that, also she’s very against me. For example, even when I meditate in the morning, she is watching out whether I’m meditating or not. Do You have any idea about that?) Why was she rejected? Too many people? (Too many people.) Not possible. Why was his wife rejected? Do you reject some people over there? (We didn’t reject anyone on that day.) They say we did not reject anyone. (On that day, we simply asked those who could adhere to the rules to stay, while those unable to eat vegan) OK. (or meditate were asked to leave. Those who stayed, just got initiated.) OK.
She says that we have asked that whoever can keep the precepts, meditation and vegan, then please stay. Whoever cannot keep these Five Precepts, vegan and meditate, then please go. So whoever stayed, got initiation. Whoever left, just left. But nevertheless, if she still wants initiation, she still can get initiation. It doesn’t have to be that day. So, maybe if she is sincere or not, it’s up to her, you don’t have to force her too much. (Yes, You’re right about that. I almost had to force her to do that.) (You’re right. I almost forced her to get initiation.) Oh. But this is very good of you also. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t want to.
(Because I believed in Master’s Power. Because I thought that once my wife got initiation, she would change.) (That’s because I trusted in Your Power. I thought if she gets initiation, she would be entirely changed.) Not necessarily. She has to voluntarily get initiated. It is because her Buddha inside is awakened and wants to go Home. If she’s not ready, she doesn’t want to go Home yet, you can’t force her. You have to respect your wife’s inner wish, but also ask her to respect your freedom.
There is a better way. You take her to some of our initiates’ houses, a husband and wife meditate together, and have party together. Just don’t talk about initiation or meditation. Just let her find out that our people are good and nice after initiation. And we are not “tigers and wolves,” and out there to force her or eat her up alive or anything. Then she may be touched, and she will understand why she has to practice the Quan Yin Method and she will understand you more. It’s better that way. Take her to some (vegan) BBQ time, when the (meditation) Center organizes (vegan) BBQ for everybody or one of your close friends, initiate’s (vegan) BBQ time in their garden. Whatever, let her get used to our way of life and let her decide by herself. Try. (Yes, Thank You.) (Thank You.)
(I would like to ask one more question. It’s actually difficult to introduce and say, “I am doing practice here, my Master is such person,” even to my coworkers. Could You tell me if I’m thinking about this the wrong way?) (In Korea, for me, it’s difficult to introduce our group to my friends in the company.) You don’t have to introduce to anybody. Just practice yourself and make a good example. And when people ask, you say; they don’t ask, you keep quiet. (Thank You.) (Thank You.)
He’s too enthusiastic, that’s why. Too eager. Force the wife and try to convert the whole company. Take it easy. Yes, I know many people do that. And the more you try to force your wife, the more she is against you. That’s human nature. Can only be persuaded with love and patience. Never mind, you reason with your wife. Just say, “OK, I still love you.” Try to love her more and then she will follow you. Most of the people will follow love, you know that? Between husband and wife, there are too few kisses, hugs, and romantic things, like a rose, now and again, a dinner out, dress up together, hold hands, candlelight… Things like that. Do not just forsake your family because you became a Quan Yin practitioner. Be a very romantic Quan Yin practitioner. Be a loving yogi. Be creative in your marriage.
Did you chase after your wife? Or did she chase after you in the beginning? You chase after her? (She followed me.) (She chased after me.) Oh! That’s the problem. But you should be proud that a woman chased after you. How did she do that? (In the view of Korean way of proposing marriage, I was not too active, but the wife was a little more enthusiastic than me.) (She was very positive and very active in chasing me.) Oh, OK, OK. And now that you became hers, she controls everything. That’s the problem. First, she wants just you to love her and respond to her love. And now she owns everything that belongs to you, even your freedom. OK. You have to play the same game. Now you chase her. (Yes, I got it.) (Thank You, I understand.)
You buy flowers, and you treat her nicely. You take her out. You introduce her to this and that. Be casual, don’t mention about meditation anymore. She is worried to lose you because she’s the one who chased you, and she’s never sure that you love her or not. Or because you are caught in her active strategy, so she’s never sure of your love. Now you make sure you chase her, and make sure that she knows that you love her, that she’s a very desirable person, and then she will be softened and then she’ll be secure, and she will not worry that she loses you. Then she might consider to join you or not join you, but at least she will let you free. If she was just an ordinary woman and she could capture you, a big man like that and… Well, now you are an enlightened yogi, you’d better think of something, how to do the same. Be a good, good active game player. Yeah, have fun. (Yes.)
Don’t be too serious. OK? You have to win the game. Poor man. Sometimes other husbands have the same problem, but later they changed the tactic and both… the woman became more devoted to me than the husband. The wife. Not introducing the Quan Yin Method, just take her to our initiates’ family, have fun, have (vegan) BBQ. And if she’s curious, she will ask. At least, or anybody, just have fun together. Everyone has their own right to follow different methods. OK? Don’t need to worry about converting anybody. Just have fun.
